Ryan Bleek will be a 3rd-year-student at Boston University Law this fall. He is 30. But he feels like 29. He is very sexy. He has high cholesterol. He doesn’t watch “The Hills”. He is probably supposed to be studying. He likes to take baths. He doesn’t like to be judged for that fact. He is not gay. He has never in his life been in the habit of making his bed. He likely has forgotten your name. He is looking at you right now. He doesn’t like wearing clothing that displays its name-brand prominently. He thinks it’s terrible that a “half-gallon” of ice cream went that way of the dinosaurs. He once had a crush on a Swedish foreign-exchange student. She did not reciprocate. His Thanksgiving-Day plates usually consist of just four courses. He has two pieces of glass in his scalp from his most recent rollover accident. He’s been in two rollover car accidents. Neither was his fault; he wasn’t even driving. He doesn’t like the word ‘veggies’. He for years has had frequently reoccurring dreams that it is the end of the semester and he hasn’t gone to class at all. His bladder is the size of an infant hummingbird’s. He enjoys observing other people’s awkward moments. He once lived on the water. He can easily be seduced into taking a nap. He has a weird belly-button. He often eats cheese and crackers. He really hates tow truck drivers. He’s been to Europe and South Korea. He desperately loves to travel.
Hold me closer tiny bladder. Funny.